My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
