She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
