i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
