Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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