so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The air was thick with penises
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
