how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
