guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Randomize
