Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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