how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
