Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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