I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
