no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize