I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
