Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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