You're my little dorito
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
