Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
