i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
