I accidentally burped into my bong.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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