i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
