i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
it's like iHOP with fire
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Boobs speak an international language.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
