ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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