I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
