Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I need to calm my uterus...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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