we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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