Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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