His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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