and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
