im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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