some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize
