I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
