JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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