The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
