need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Randomize
