at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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