He is an equal opportunity slut.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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