I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
