The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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