1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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