this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
