My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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