Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize