She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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