Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize