You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
