I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
