She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
