If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize