My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
