he wants to bone in the snuggie
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
