I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize