and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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