Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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