Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
did i walk over a car last night?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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