When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
