just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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