I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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