I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
