hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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