Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
