You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
