The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
