Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize