I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
