I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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