I swear she didn't look like that last week.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
