just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
