how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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