She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
