she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize