The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
