so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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