Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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