READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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