**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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